Late Pregnancy

My Mom and I are different in a lot of ways. First off, she's a Gemini and I'm a Scorpio. Not a match made in heaven right there. She's pragmatic and I'm dramatic. She's petite and tiny and adorable and I'm built a lot more like my Irish grandmother. I have these amazing bright green eyes which are pretty much the only thing that held my self-esteem together through those tumultuous high school years . My Mother's eyes, while much more subtle, are something I've envied my whole life. They are deep, rich brown. Like coffee with just the right amount of cream. Stunning, really.

And in many, many ways we are very, very similar. We both don't care for bullshit. We are both hard headed and stubborn (to which both of our husbands can attest). Dave says I scowl like she does and that I have many of the same expressions and hand gestures.

And we both HATE late pregnancy. Well, actually Mom detested all of pregnancy from what she says, but she really hates the end.

I am so tired of being pregnant!!!! I'm tired of not being able to breathe, of the constant reflux, of having to struggle like a tied cow to get out of bed to pee every 30 minutes at night. I am exhausted. I'm a Large. I want to be a New Mother, not Late Pregnant. And I know, twins aren't going to be easy. But I've always felt this way.

I will be exhausted when they come, yes. But when I do sleep, it will be deep and restful. Unlike now when I doze for most of the night, when I'm not going to or from the bathroom. I have horrible disconnected dreams. I wake to strong contractions that push Claire's head into my cervix. Oh, and I really, REALLY miss sleeping on my stomach!!!!

And caring for two babies is going to be a challenge, no doubt. But at least I will eventually get my energy reserves back. I will be able to clean an entire room without stopping to lay down every 10 minutes. I will be able to bend over at the waist and to pick up more than two items before I have to come up for air. My stamina will consist of more than a short burst of energy followed by a nap.

And oh how I am starting to ache for my children. To know them. To see their little faces. To stroke their downy heads. To smell that sweet newborn smell times two. I never thought this feeling would come but Mother Nature didn't let me down. I desire to nurse them, to see the Milk Coma come over them whilst the warm milk dribbles out of the side of their mouthes, to wake at night to dark, quiet eyes staring at me. To see those dazzling smiles of joy when they see me looking at them.

It's getting very close to time. I can feel it coming over me.