A new friend lent me this book yesterday and already I am feeling much better about some of the things I have been experiencing. While I did nurse #3 into my 4th month of #4's pregnancy, he was a bit older and nursing less so this feels really different. Or maybe it's that this baby was unplanned and I am not ready to accept her weaning? In any case, this book has been a Godsent!
I have to admit, as "crunchy" as I am, tandem nursing had me a little nervous. I suppose that's silly because I know more women who have done it than haven't. In fact, most of my good friends have tandem nursed one or more. Another friend even nursed two while she was pregnant! Another nursed 3 at once for several months. I know plenty who nursed twins successfully as well! But still, it's outside of my experience so I have to admit I was a little nervous.
One thing that I've learned from this book is that it's OK for me to not want to tandem. I have a problem with boundaries sometimes, and I admit I still get caught up in the "shoulds" that my therapist so hated. And I feel like I 'should' nurse #4 throughout my pregnancy and her sister's infancy. That's a bit of self-loathing coming out and that's not really healthy. As much as I was so upset when #3 weaned at 16 months, it was gentle, child-led, and peaceful for him....all the things I wanted. Just about 10 months earlier than I was cool with. And with every asthma attack, I beat myself up a little bit more. I wish I had read this book then, because it really gives me permission to allow weaning to happen and to find a situation that works for all three of us. I know full well that I can give plenty of nutrition to all of us. Those aren't my worries. I am already touched out and at the end of my rope, so if nursing is no longer working I think I can live with it. Maybe. Today at least. ;-)
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